Welcome, everyone. Thank you for joining me today as we discuss an essential topic: building a solid foundation. Just like constructing a house, if there's a crack in the foundation, things will inevitably crumble. The behaviors we hope to manifest in our relationships also hinge on this strong base.
For those married to a childhood trauma survivor, you might often feel like you're on an emotional roller coaster. The journey of understanding triggers, setting boundaries, and not internalizing your partner's reactions can be daunting. Imagine coming home after an exhausting day, trying to communicate with your partner, and unintentionally saying something triggering. You might have hoped to navigate these situations with understanding, but fatigue can make us defensive.
Then guilt takes over: “I can’t do this. I am trying so hard to change these patterns, but nothing seems to be working. It's just so hard.” But I urge you to ponder this: perhaps it's not a lack of intent or effort but the blinding effect of exhaustion and stress.
A recent study from the University of California showed that stress often reinforces our old patterns, both good and bad. When under pressure, we tend to fall back on familiar habits. Consequently, when we’re stressed and tired, even with the best intentions, we may revert to less empathetic responses and established unhealthy patterns in our relationships.
The solution? Taking better care of oneself.
But it doesn’t always mean lavish vacations or spa days. Sometimes, just five minutes dedicated to self-restoration can make a world of difference. I personally started noting five rejuvenating activities at the start of each day, and it transformed how I felt. By placing yourself as a priority, even if just for a few minutes daily, can fortify the foundation of your relationship.
Questions to Reflect Upon:
How are daily stressors impacting your relationship foundation?
Are there patterns where your stress level might be leading to triggering moments in your relationship?
Five Day Challenge Announcement!
If you're nodding in agreement, I urge you to explore my *free five-day "Permission to be Selfish" challenge*. While the term "selfish" often has negative connotations, as supporters, we sometimes neglect our needs. This challenge aims to reprioritize a healthy form of selfishness to foster improved patterns and communication in your relationship. Whether you're struggling or suspecting unresolved trauma affecting your relationship, this challenge is your springboard towards a more stable, secure, and harmonious life. Click here to learn more.
Conclusion: Take better care of yourself!
As we navigate relationships with partners bearing the weight of childhood trauma, understanding and self-care play pivotal roles. Every strong house needs a solid foundation. Let's ensure we're laying down the best bricks for ours.
Before you go, let’s touch on a phenomenon I term "negative relationship self-talk." Most are familiar with personal negative self-talk, but have you ever considered how such negativity might seep into your relationship? If today's discussion resonates with you, sign up for my weekly newsletter. In the next edition, we’ll delve deep into how negative self-talk might affect our relationships and strategies to mitigate it. Sign up Now!
Thank you for investing your time with me today. Let’s together build a stronger foundation, one brick, and one conversation at a time.
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