Breaking Generational Cycles: A Conversation with Emily Cleghorn

Have you ever wondered what it really feels like for a childhood trauma survivor when they’re triggered? Or how living in constant stress and hyper-alertness impacts their parenting, relationships, and health? These are questions that many don’t dare to ask, but they’re critical to understanding how trauma shapes lives. In a recent episode of Love and Trauma: The Real Deal, I had the privilege of sitting down with Emily Cleghorn, author of Rising from the Ashes: How to Reclaim Your Life After a Traumatic Childhood and an award-winning Trigger Recovery Coach for Mamas.

Emily’s story is one of resilience, vulnerability, and purpose. She’s not only working through her own trauma but is also committed to helping others heal and thrive. In our candid conversation, Emily shared how her past shaped her as a mother, how she’s teaching her children emotional intelligence, and how opening up to her husband became a pivotal step in her healing journey. Here’s a look at some of the highlights from our discussion.

Living with Triggers

Emily opened up about what it’s like to live with the constant presence of triggers—those moments when past trauma resurfaces and takes over the body and mind.

"When I get triggered, my chest tightens, and it feels like I’m going to crawl out of my skin," she explained. “I can’t focus or function. It’s overwhelming.”

Through years of hard work, Emily has developed a "trigger toolbox" to help her regulate her nervous system in those moments. These tools include breathing techniques, affirmations, journaling, and even noise-reducing earplugs. She also emphasizes the importance of recognizing that triggers often stem from unresolved emotions in childhood.

"When your kid’s tantrum makes you lose it, it’s usually not about them. It’s your inner child calling out for help," she said.

Breaking Generational Cycles

One of Emily’s most inspiring missions is to help moms teach emotional intelligence to their children—breaking generational cycles of trauma.

"We don’t break these cycles without doing preventative work," she explained. "I want to create tools and resources that moms can use with their kids to heal their own trauma and teach emotional intelligence."

For Emily, this journey started with her own children. She described how she had to learn to co-regulate with them—even when her nervous system was overwhelmed by their cries or tantrums. By teaching her children how to manage emotions, she’s ensuring they grow up with the skills to handle life’s challenges without the weight of unaddressed trauma.

Opening Up to Her Husband

Another significant part of Emily’s healing journey was learning to share her struggles with her husband. For years, she kept her fears and pain to herself, worried he might leave if he knew the truth. But one rainy Saturday, she took the leap.

"I told him everything, and instead of leaving, he asked, ‘How do we fix this?’" Emily shared.

That moment became a turning point in their relationship. By being vulnerable, Emily found support in the very place she feared rejection. Her husband became her safe place and an anchor in her healing journey.

The Bigger Mission

As a Trigger Recovery Coach, Emily’s goal extends far beyond her own family.

"I want to see my family flourish, but I also want to provide support so other families can flourish and heal," she said.

Her work focuses on helping moms heal from their own trauma while giving them the tools to teach their children healthy emotional habits. She believes that by doing this, families can break free from the chains of the past and create a brighter, healthier future.

Conclusion

Emily’s story is a testament to the power of resilience and the transformative impact of addressing trauma. From developing her trigger toolbox to teaching her children emotional intelligence and finding strength in her marriage, Emily is proving that healing and hope are possible.

If you’re navigating the effects of trauma in your own life or within your family, Emily’s journey offers valuable insights and inspiration. Remember, breaking generational cycles isn’t easy, but with the right tools and support, it’s absolutely achievable.

Watch the full episode of Love and Trauma: The Real Deal to hear more of Emily’s powerful story and learn actionable steps for your own healing journey.