Who Am I?

I’m Danielle Sebastian—a trauma-informed relationship coach, bestselling author, and founder of WifeCARE. But long before that… I was just a woman in a struggling marriage, desperate for answers.

I remember how lonely it felt—like I was trapped in a rowboat, paddling in circles while the person I loved sat silently on the other side, not even picking up an oar. I was doing everything I could to keep us afloat—reading all the books, attending therapy, trying to communicate “the right way”—but it felt like I was whispering through a wall of glass. Every conversation became a landmine, and no matter how gently I stepped, something always exploded. I found myself waking up with knots in my stomach, rehearsing what to say, how to say it, when to say it—just to avoid another shutdown, another blame spiral, another night of silence. I kept wondering, “How did we end up here? And why does it feel like I’m the only one trying to fix it?”

I searched everywhere for support. I scoured the internet for something—anything—for partners of trauma survivors. But there was nothing. No community. No books. No real guidance for someone like me.

That’s when I began my own deep dive—into trauma, relationships, neurobiology, and what really happens when you’re married to someone who’s experienced deep emotional wounds. And one breakthrough changed everything:

I finally understood that my husband wasn’t reacting to me. He was reacting from survival.

His coping mechanisms were formed to protect him as a child—because he needed them to survive. But those same mechanisms were now sabotaging our intimacy, communication, and connection. And he didn’t know how to change them. Honestly, neither did I.

But once I saw the patterns through a trauma-informed lens, it all made sense.
✨ I stopped taking everything so personally.
✨ I stopped trying to use “normal” communication strategies that only backfired.
✨ And I started responding in a way that actually calmed the storm instead of fueling it.

That’s when I created the CARE framework—because we didn’t just need insight… we needed tools that actually work. This step-by-step, trauma-informed path shows you how to calm the chaos, stop walking on eggshells, and finally feel like you’re not the only one holding it all together. It’s how you start feeling lighter. More steady. Like yourself again. You’ll laugh more, breathe deeper, and maybe—for the first time in a long time—remember what joy, ease, and fun actually feel like.

Today, I lead coaching programs, host a TV show, and write the guides I wish I had back then—because no one should have to figure this out alone.